Ron Shrock lived a double life. On the outside Ron was an easy going, yes-man that was always available. On the inside, Ron was constantly worried about his reputation and exhausted from over committing himself. The emotional despair Ron
“I am a grateful believer in Christ who struggles with co-dependency and people pleasing,” Ron said. “I introduce myself that way because for years I was enslaved to what other people thought of me. That took a tremendous toll on me. I always thought that if people knew the real me they would not want anything to do with me.”
Afraid of rejection, he became a yes-man and people pleaser. Ron constantly worried about him looked in other people’s eyes. Never wanting to rock the boat or tarnish his reputation, Ron went above and beyond to accommodate everyone. Over time he found that he was over committing himself due to his inability to say no to people’s requests. After committing he would suddenly regret having said yes. The burden of these commitments began wearing him down.
“You end up telling lies right?” Ron said. “Instead of being truthful and saying what is going on, you only address the positive and make it sound like you have it all together.”
The pressure began taking a toll on a lot of Ron’s relationships and he needed a way out. Ron sought out the help of a counselor and joined Celebrate Recovery at Cottonwood Creek. It was there that he discovered a secret he had been keeping was the root of the issue.
“I had been sexually abused as a child and I had told no one,” Ron said. “I was never willing share or let anyone know because I thought if anyone ever knew about that, that they would reject me and not want anything to do with me. I never realized the connection between that life event and how it shaped my personality. This is what we call a character defect in Celebrate Recovery.”
Ron went through Celebrate Recovery’s 12 step program and transformation took place in his life as he ruled out all of his character defects. He was able to forgive the person who abused him and make amends to the people he hurt by keeping this secret.
“I am now able to say no when people ask me to do something,” Ron said. “I’m not feeling like I always need to say yes. I have much more boldness because I can speak the truth. I can say it in love but without fearing other people.”
The transformation that took place in Ron’s life inspired him to help others. He serves in the Celebrate Recovery ministry and helps other men go through the same process that he did nearly five years ago. Some of the deepest, most meaningful relationships in Ron’s life have been made with other men participating in Celebrate Recovery.
“The biggest change in my life is that God has become big and people have become small,” Ron said. “While I am absolutely sitting here and telling you that I have been transformed, I will also say that I am a work in process.”
Jeremiah 6:14:They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace.
Philippians 3:12-16: Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.